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If you have ever asked that question, perhaps quietly, perhaps in frustration, perhaps with tears, you are not alone. Some of us come to Orthodoxy as converts, searching for refuge. Others are cradle Orthodox who remain, sometimes with a weary faith tested by years of disappointment. In different ways, we are drawn by the same things: the beauty of the services, the depth and sobriety of the theology, the ancient faith carefully guarded and handed down through the centuries. We come longing for stability, reverence, and truth in a world that feels increasingly fractured, noisy, and unmoored. But very quickly, many of us, especially the converts discover something else as well. The Church is not only an ark, it is also a hospital. And hospitals are messy places. They are filled with people who are wounded, weak, confused, and sometimes difficult. They are places where healing happens slowly, imperfectly, and often painfully. The Church gathers sinners, not saints who have already arrived. And that includes bishops, priests, monks, and laity alike. Vestments do not magically erase passions. Titles do not instantly heal wounds of the heart. Even sincere faith does not spare us from struggle. Our Lord Himself warned us: “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). He did not exempt the Church Militant, those of us still struggling on earth, from this reality. Conflict, disappointment, and sorrow do not stop at the narthex. So yes, within the Church we may encounter egos and factions. We may see politics intruding where prayer should reign. We may witness moral compromise, harsh words, power struggles, and deep wounds, sometimes inflicted by those entrusted with spiritual care. And when these wounds come from inside the Church, they cut deeper. They shake us more profoundly than anything the secular world can offer. But this does not mean Christ has abandoned His Church. Quite the opposite. Christ remains exactly where He promised to be, in the midst of her. He allows us to see the brokenness not so that we flee in disillusionment, but so that we grow in humility, discernment, and love. To weep for the Church is not a sign of faithlessness. It is often a sign of genuine love. It is to share, in some small way, in Christ’s own sorrow and patience for His Bride. The Church has always struggled. From the disputes of the apostles, to heresies, schisms, persecutions, and scandals across the centuries, this is nothing new. And yet, through it all, the Holy Spirit has never ceased to breathe life into her. As St. John Chrysostom reminds us: “The Church is a place of countless struggles, but also of countless victories.” This is a hard truth, but a consoling one. So what are we to do when disappointment comes, and it will come? We stay the course. We resist the temptation to become spiritual consumers, shopping for a “perfect parish” or a “problem-free jurisdiction.” There is no such thing. Wherever there are people, there will be weakness. Wherever there is healing, there will be pain. Instead, we do the unglamorous, quiet work of faithfulness. We seek Christ, not commentary. We find a spiritual father, not an echo chamber. We keep the fasts, even when others don’t. We attend the services, even when we feel dry. We confess our sins, rather than cataloging the sins of others. We forgive, again, and again, and again. Yes, you may be tempted to give up. Many are. Some do. But grace is often hidden in perseverance. God works most deeply not when everything feels pure and inspiring, but when faith is tested and refined in the fire. The Church does not exist because her members are perfect. She exists because Christ is faithful. There is no perfect parish. There is no perfect priest. There is no perfect bishop. But there is a perfect Lord, who patiently perfects us through His Body, the Church. So don’t quit. Don’t walk away from the Chalice because of human failure. Don’t abandon Christ because Judas still exists. Don’t confuse the sickness of the hospital with the failure of the Physician. Christ is here. He has not moved. And He is still healing those who are willing to stay.
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AuthorThe Monks of St. Basil of the Desert Eastern Orthodox Hermitage located in Tucson, Arizona, USA Archives
May 2026
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